So much of addiction recovery seems to be about socialization. You talk to intake specialists, doctors, nurses, therapists, counselors, and other patients. You talk about yourself, and what drove you to substance abuse and how you plan to move on from it. You leave rehab and start going to twelve-step meetings where you’re expected to share your story with a group. It’s an effective and proven method, certainly, but what if you have social anxiety or simply don’t like to talk to other people?
If you’re introverted or suffer from social anxiety, it’s possible that part of the reason you started using drugs or alcohol was to loosen up enough to survive in a social setting. Now you’re working on getting sober, and you no longer have that crutch. It’s easy for people who have never experienced the crippling fear of being the center of attention to say, “Just suck it up and get over it,” but it’s a real problem.
To some degree, unfortunately, you are going to have to get over it. The key is to not push yourself so far past your comfort zone that you end up relapsing. If you absolutely can’t stand the thought of speaking in front of a group, maybe you’d be better off sticking with individual therapy. Or if you can deal with people electronically better than in person, consider finding an internet forum or Facebook group to join.
You don’t have to completely change who you are. No, you can’t hide in your house for the rest of your life, but you don’t have to suddenly become a social butterfly, either. Stick with friends who understand and accept you for who you are, who know your limits and triggers. It might be helpful to find new hobbies or activities that can slowly ease you into being more social. For example, if you join a book club, you can study and be prepared for what you’re going to talk about ahead of time, so nothing catches you off guard. Or maybe find an activity where a lot of talking simply isn’t possible, like going with a group to the movies. What you absolutely shouldn’t do is decide to take a class on public speaking to try and force yourself to overcome your fears – at least not any time near the beginning of your recovery. This is likely to send to fleeing back into the comfort of your home and your substance of choice.
Do what you can to keep yourself from becoming isolated, and try to find ways to enjoy your life that aren’t too stressful. Remember that you aren’t alone, and there’s nothing to be embarrassed about – more than 13 percent of Americans have clinical levels of social anxiety at some point in their lives. At the end of the day, you have to learn to accept yourself and realize that if other people can’t accept you, they may not be worth your time.
If you or a loved one need help with quitting drugs or alcohol, consider Asana Recovery. We offer medical detox, along with both residential and outpatient programs, and you’ll be supervised by a highly trained staff of medical professionals, counselors, and therapists. Call us any time at (949) 438-4504.
