Most people, when they consider the role of grandparents, probably think about all the best parts of parenting without the stress of being completely responsible. You’ve probably heard “It’s my job as your grandmother/grandfather to spoil you rotten) on tv, if not in your own life. In reality, grandparents play a much more important role in the lives of both their own adult children and their grandchildren, and this role can make a big difference when it comes to keeping kids drug-free.
Grandparents can offer valuable advice to parents based on their own experiences. They know all of the problems that are likely to arise at different stages of a kid’s life and how to deal with them (as well as how not to deal with them). They can also fill the role of a trusted caregiver when parents are at work or have to be away, and during this time the grandkids will look to them as role models and emulate their behavior.
Kids who have grandparents in their lives might go to them with questions or problems, rather than their parents, either because they feel like they’re more knowledgeable or because they don’t feel they can discuss things with their parents. Grandparents can also get away with asking questions that kids would deem too embarrassing from their parents. Kids who have no problem lying to their parents are often unwilling to do so with a grandparent. When it comes to drugs and alcohol, a child might be more willing to talk to a grandparent if they feel they won’t be judged or punished.
If you’re a grandparent, there are things you can do to prepare yourself if the issue of substance use ever comes up. First, stay up to date on the latest drugs. Know the signs and symptoms to look for. Bring up the topic whenever you can, like if it’s referenced in a movie or tv show. Ask your grandchild what their opinions are on drug use, if they know anyone who’s ever done it, if they’ve been tempted to themselves, etc. Try to be a good listener and ask questions without being confrontational or judgmental. If your grandchild is talking to you about it, it’s probably because they believed you would react better than their parents, so don’t prove them wrong. State your own opinion on drug use and underage drinking. You can use anecdotes from your own experiences, but don’t go too far toward either scare tactics or glorifying substance abuse.
Be aware of your grandchild’s risk level. You’re uniquely placed to have the most information about any family history of substance abuse. Also, if you can develop a relationship where the grandchild is willing to talk to you about any mental health problems they’re dealing with or traumas they’ve faced, you’ll be aware that these things can contribute to a drug or alcohol problem. Keep in mind, though, that no matter how well you’ve set yourself up as the easy or safe option to confess to, you will still have to break the news to the parents, unless they’ve contributed to the problem.
If you or a loved one need help with quitting drugs or alcohol, consider Asana Recovery. We offer medical detox, along with both residential and outpatient programs, and you’ll be supervised by a highly trained staff of medical professionals, counselors, and therapists. Call us any time at (949) 438-4504 to get started.
