If you have a teenager with a substance abuse problem, there are no end of things you’re probably worrying about. How to get them help, if they’ll be able to overcome it, what if they overdose, how is this going to affect their future – there’s no quick and easy answer for any of these. One thing that you might not have considered, which is, luckily, a little easier to address, is what to do about other children in the house. You’ll have to take extra care to talk to the addict’s sibling (who we’ll call child two, for the sake of clarity), who probably looks up to him and might be tempted to copy his behavior. It’s also important to make sure that they don’t end up neglected while everyone is busy focusing on the person with the addiction (child one).
Be sure to spend some one on one time with child two. It can be anything from having dinner for just the two of you to playing a game of catch in the yard, to attending his school play. All that matters is that he knows you’re still interested in him and care about what he’s doing. Don’t assume that he’s just going to be understanding if you start neglecting him in favor of his sibling.
Remember that as stressed as you are about the whole situation, child two probably will be as well. After all, especially if he is younger, he might idolize his sibling, and now he has to try to understand what child one did wrong and what’s going to happen to them. It can be especially confusing if one child leaves the house for residential treatment, as the other child might feel like his sibling was kicked out or sent away. Explain as much as you can, adjusting for age. Make sure child two understands that you still love both of them and that child one is just getting the help he needs.
It’s going to be more important than usual to have a talk about drugs with child two. Depending on how old he is, you might have to use different methods, but make sure he understands the difference between “good” medicine, like aspirin or allergy medicine for example, and the kind of drugs that caused child one so many problems.
Remember that you can’t just hide the problem. Kids are pretty intuitive, and there’s no way that child two missed all the arguments or hushed discussions that have probably taken place. If you don’t offer an explanation, he might construct something much worse in his imagination or even try to blame himself. You might also want to consider family counseling so that a professional can help you figure out how to talk to your child.
If you or a loved one need help with quitting drugs or alcohol, consider Asana Recovery. We offer medical detox, along with both residential and outpatient programs, and you’ll be supervised by a highly trained staff of medical professionals, counselors, and therapists. Call us any time at (949) 438-4504 to get started.
