Enabling a loved one is an easy thing to do, and you often don’t realize it’s happening. This is because it just feels like hell. It’s difficult to watch a loved suffer from a substance abuse problem, nor do you want to see them in pain and witness the disastrous effects it has on their life.
Here are some signs that may let you know if you are enabling the addict:
Intervening
When you want the addiction to stop it is easy to want to get in the way of addiction in hopes of ending the behavior. Things like, hiding, flushing drugs or dumping alcohol down the drain, hiding the car keys and money seem like ways to prevent the addiction from being there.
Unfortunately, this leads to the addict thinking of new ways use drugs and alcohol. The lies and manipulation intensify in order to hide their addictive behavior. Intervening won’t help them get healthy and seek the treatment they need. The addict won’t get cured and it won’t convince them that the behavior is destructive and hurting others.
If you are feeling unsafe around your loved one, your priority is your own safety. Interfering will not only help the situation, but it can make the problem worse as they get more creative in the ways to hide it.
Hiding and Lying
Are you making up excuses for why your loved one is absent from an event or concealing the behavior for the addict? These are ways you may be doing this. Lying to friends and family and work about the addict’s sickness is a common form of this. So is hiding things such as drug paraphernalia when others are around.
You have the best intentions for your loved one. You may tell yourself that it’s to help them keep their job, social appearance, losing status, but this is generally really out of fear of change.
Because you don’t want your life to change, you hide and lie in order to keep up appearances. You must face reality, and accept that maybe if they feel the detriment of their addiction, they will face their substance abuse problem. This may affect your life as well. But those are the ramifications of being involved with an addict.
Compensating for Their Behavior
Do you give them money or find yourself repeatedly lending things to your loved one with an addiction? You are fooling yourself into believing these are things he or she needs to go to work, attend school, or other things you tell yourself are necessary for them to stop their behavior. The truth is, this won’t bring the change you are hoping for.
None of us want to watch the ones we love suffer. But when we try to protect them from feeling their own suffering, we take away the choice for them to bring change into their life.
Are You Enabling?
Does any of this sound familiar? If so you may be enabling someone and preventing them from taking responsibility for their substance abuse problem. Even if you have good intentions, it prevents your loved one from experiencing the reality of their own life.
At Asana Recovery, we provide a comprehensive treatment program to people with substance abuse issues. Each program is designed to the particular needs of each client so they can receive the help they need and deserve. Ask your company to contact us today at 949-438-4504.
