UNDERSTANDING WHY ENABLING IS SO DANGEROUS
- December 8, 2018
See if this situation sounds familiar. Let’s say you have a sibling who has a grown child (about 20 or so years of age) who keeps making one mistake after another. Ultimately, after arriving home one day, this grown child complains about buying a new car and not having enough money to pay for rent, and, without giving it a second thought, the parent (your friend) pays the rent for the next couple of months. If the word “enabler” came to mind, then you would be right. Drawing the fine line between parent, friend, or companion is very tricky sometimes, though, especially if you care for the person you are enabling. Imagine the difficulty of facing one of two options: leave them out in the cold or help them. While we might not like to admit it, tough love is sometimes the best option, but that doesn’t mean completely abandoning your child, spouse, sibling, parent, or friend. Let’s take a closer look at why enabling itself is so dangerous and what you can do to stop it.
What Is Enabling, First of All?
“Not me. I could never do something like that,” is what a lot of people might say. However, anyone, anywhere, at any time can become an enabler. Sometimes, they might not even realize they are doing it. For example, if someone continuously argues with you and gets the reward they scream for, that is a form of enabling on your part. Some researchers label “enabling” as a process of denial. After all, who wants to see their loved one suffering like that? However, ignoring the dangerous addictive behavior exhibited by that loved one is more detrimental to his or her health than confrontation.
Am I An Enabler?
Like addiction, enabling comes in many forms. Perhaps you help pay for bills. On the other hand, you might be wiling to hide drug paraphernalia to make sure your relatives do not see what is going on. Here is a checklist you can follow to see if you are enabling a drug addict:
- Completing ignoring shady behavior (sneaking out at night, at all hours)
- Feelings of resentment or anger toward the addict (verbally or inwardly)
- Blaming other people and circumstances for the addict’s behavior
- Lying to cover up the addict’s behavior
Always remember that mind-altering drugs do not have control over your life. You do. Are you suffering from a substance use disorder or a severe form of addiction? Do you have a friend or family member suffering from one or more of these debilitating illnesses? If you do, get in touch with Asana Recovery today. Our counselors and healthcare experts are ready to walk you through every step of the detox and withdrawal process and rehabilitation and guide you towards living a happier, healthier, and freer lifestyle. While the road to recovery might not be an easy road to travel, we promise to help you every step of the way. Take the first step to stay fit, healthy, and safe.
The time for you to take back control of your life is now. If you are interested in one of our residential treatment or supervised detoxification/withdrawal programs, we are ready and waiting to speak with you at your disclosure. Call Asana now at (949) 438-4504 to learn how to overcome your drug abuse or addiction troubles today.