Counseling and talk therapy are an important part of substance abuse recovery. Sometimes the counselor or therapist is the first person you find yourself able to open up to about your problems. Over time, you can build up a level of trust so that you feel you can tell them anything without judgment, and they can in return help you figure out behaviors and skills that allow you to stay on the right path. Your therapist may meet with your family and help you start overcoming issues your drug use may have caused between you. They can also provide recommendations on support groups or job and housing assistance. Sometimes, however, you might feel like you just aren’t clicking. If you aren’t able to talk to your therapist openly and honestly, you aren’t going to get very far in recovery. What are some signs that it might be time to search for someone new?
Sometimes the very first meeting can be enough to know that you aren’t meant for each other. Not all approaches work for all people, and if you don’t feel comfortable or if the therapist makes you feel defensive or guilty, you probably won’t have much success. Beware of the know-it-alls; no one knows everything about everything, and no one can claim to know exactly how you feel. Some people just like to feel important or more intelligent than others, and unfortunately, therapists aren’t exempt from having personality flaws.
Along these same lines, take notice if your therapist likes to talk about themselves more than they care to hear from you. They may just be trying to develop a rapport, but the fact is that listening to them talk about random things that happened in their own lives is a waste of your time and money.
Another warning sign is if you feel like your therapist isn’t paying attention. They might have a notepad or a computer in front of them to jot down the occasional note, but if they spend the entire session glued to a screen, you aren’t going to feel like they actually care what you’re saying.
If you feel like your therapist has no goals or no actual idea how to proceed with you, think about looking elsewhere. Obviously, in your first session you’ll feel each other out a bit and try to figure out what works for you, but after a while, you should be able to define some goals for each meeting. Getting together and chatting about whatever pops into your minds isn’t going to help you make any progress with your recovery.
Finally, be wary if your therapist seems too interested in you as a person. A certain amount of trust is needed, and you might want to learn a little about each other to see if you have any common frames of reference, but there’s a professional line that you need to stay firmly on separate sides of. If they’re flirting or trying to suggest you meet up outside of your sessions, get out of there. There’s a power imbalance inherent in the relationship, and no matter how much you might like each other, it’s not a good idea.
If you or a loved one need help with quitting drugs or alcohol, consider Asana Recovery. We offer medical detox, along with both residential and outpatient programs, and you’ll be supervised by a highly trained staff of medical professionals, counselors, and therapists. Call us any time at (949) 438-4504 to get started.
